Monday, September 28, 2009

The Wedding Girl

Well. It's starting. Gone are the days of Carlee being completely care-free. She has become a self-conscious little girl. And, it makes me sad.

We went to a wedding Saturday night. Carlee was the only little girl there her age who wasn't a flower girl. The other three girls (including her cousin Jenna) were all in matching "twirly" flower girl dresses (and we all know how Carlee feels about twirly dresses). She looked really, really cute - even if she wasn't in a flower girl dress. But, she didn't "feel" like she was as cute as they were.

While we were having dinner at the reception, Carlee broke off a piece of her bread, walked over to me and whispered "mom, can we go give this to the wedding girl?" My sweet tender hearted girl. I told her I thought the wedding girl already had bread, but we could go say hi to her. She said "no thank you" and put her little head down.

When it came time to dance, she went out on the floor and did ballerina twirls...looked like she was having a ball. Then, 'the wedding girl' picked up each of the flower girls and danced with them...and Carlee stood back and watched. I kept seeing her get close to her, but then back up. When it came time to leave, I put her in her car seat and saw big tears falling down her face. When I asked her what was wrong she said "momma, I was trying so hard to think of a cool dance, and I just couldn't." Oh sissy, your dancing was beautiful. "But momma, I wanted to do a cool dance like the other girls, and I just couldn't think of anything". I assured her several times that her dancing was cool. Then, it occurred to me that she was sad because she didn't get to dance with the 'wedding girl'. When I asked her if that's why she was sad, she said "yes, I wanted to, but I was too shy."

So, my sister is getting married this weekend and will be a beautiful 'wedding girl'. We have secured a dance with her! Carlee said "I'm not shy at Lissa, just people I don't know." (Lissa is her Aunt Melissa). We've got her twirly dress all ready too.

Even though I knew it wasn't a big deal, in her little precious, tender heart, it was a big deal. And it made me so sad to see her sad.

I really hope boys are easier.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Scripture memory has never been my thing. I want it to be my thing. But, it's not. This memory of mine doesn't seem so great. That's the excuse I use. But every single day as I try to just get through life, I realize how much I need it. I've always heard that if you 'hide the Word in your heart' you have the solution. And, I know that's true.

So, the verse I taped to the left corner of my computer monitor today is:

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute...dwell on these things". Philippians 4:8

Now, if I'll just do a little more than memorizing it - and actually live it.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The discipline delima

This discipline thing might just get the best of me...I've got a whiner on my hands. A typical morning goes a little like this:

Me: Carlee, would you like blueberry waffles or cereal for breakfast?
Carlee: (in her "mean" voice) I don't WANT waffles or cereal.
Me: Your choices are waffles and cereal - you can choose, or I will choose for you.
Carlee: (crying now) no, no, no, I don't want waffles OR cereal.
Me: go sit in your room until you're ready to choose.

And...then goes the crying fit.

Then, it's time to get dressed and we go through the same thing but up the whining a notch. Because, of course she can only wear skirts that "twirl". And, we only have so many skirts that twirl.

So, last night we started earning marbles. We'll see how it goes.

When she obeys the first time, she gets a marble. If I have to tell her twice, she doesn't get a marble. If I have to tell her three times, she gets a marble taken away. If she speaks to us disrespectfully, she gets a marble taken away. When she earns 20 marbles, she gets to pick out a treat. We counted out 20 marbles so she could see what 20 looks like and she's ready to go.

I also let her pick out her clothes for the whole week. I laid 10 outfits on her bed and let her pick from them and decide what she wants to wear each day. She's definitely a control freak (wonder where she gets that), so I think this will help.

So far, so good. Last night she earned 2 marbles for getting in the bath tub the first time I asked and getting in her bed (and staying) the first time. Then, she got another this morning for choosing her breakfast and getting dressed with ZERO drama. Please God, let this last!

My prayer is to raise my children to be respectful, caring, kind and unselfish. I'm certain you all have things that work with your kids...please share!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Back at it...

I think I'm back...we'll see how it goes. I've made a commitment not to be on the computer while my kids are awake. I only get a few hours a day with them, so I don't want anything unnecessary to take away from that time.

So, you probably saw this on my FB post yesterday. I've been really, really disturbed by what I saw at Wal-Mart - I can't shake it.... Granted, on any given day there's probably plenty to be disturbed about at Wal-Mart, but this takes the cake.

When I turned my half-full cart down the canned goods isle a man stomped by me yelling...He was actually calling his wife stupid and ignorant and told her she wasn't "allowed" to walk off. Bless his poor little heart, he was carrying 4 cans of green beans and didn't have the cart right next to him when he pulled them off the shelf. You I passed them again on the next isle...and he was still yelling about the same stinkin' thing. The woman never said a word. She looked straight ahead - no emotion. They had a teenage boy and another little boy who was maybe 4. If you could see the sadness in their eyes, it would just break your heart. So, here's the reality - if this jerk thinks it's ok to yell at her in the middle of a crowded Wal-Mart, I can only imagine what it's like in their house. My heart is sad for them. Those boys probably aren't going to bed happy like my kids are tonight. I kind of doubt they got hugs and kisses and bed-time stories. She probably never has that feeling of just being loved. I hope they all know they are loved by a gracious savior.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have some happier things on my mind...I'm praying God's protection over them. Will you join me?