Happy Birthday Dad!

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. 6 years later, it still feels weird not getting to celebrate. Not that we ever did great big birthday parties for him - he wouldn't have liked that. But, I could always find a funny card that made him laugh - something with a monkey or a silly looking dog usually did the job. It was sooo hard to think of things to get him. The man had 200 flannel shirts and 250 western shirts with snaps (ok, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration) - and he liked to coyote hunt (which meant letting his dogs chase coyote's in the woods and listen to them bark - you can't kill coyotes). Not many present options with flannel shirts and coyotes.

Carlee knows that her grandad is in heaven with Jesus. Every-once-in-a-while she'll say "mom, what are my grandad and Jesus doing today?" Even though she never got to meet her grandad, I sure want her to know about him. Kind of like Carlee, I find myself wondering what he and Jesus are doing. Wouldn't it be awesome to know! Oh, I wish he was here - but I'm certain that he's really glad he's there!

Lookin' alike

I usually don't think much about the fact that I'm a twin. But today I felt huge anxiety. Not because I care that people think I'm Kerry (it's actually a compliment - have you seen how great she looks!) It absolutely doesn't bother me at all (so if you're a guilty party - no worries). I just hate that it embarrasses people so much. And it really embarrasses some people - to the point that they avoid talking to us because they're afraid they can't tell us apart. It's fine to ask!!

When I was walking into church this morning the greeters at the front door said "hi Kerry", I said hi back, smiled and kept on walkin'. No need in correcting them since no conversation was going to happen. I didn't have Chris and the kids with me today, so on the way out of church, I made a bee-line for my car. On the way out a few people who I didn't know gave me a big "hi, how are YOU doing" not just a nice "how are you", but a "I know you and really want to know how you are - how are you". So, I did the ole' "I'm fine" and kept on walking!

But, tonight at the Fall Festival was a different story. They all needed me (well, Kerry) for something - so I had to gently let them down. Fine with me, but super embarrassing for them. Especially when it's people who know that I exist. Most people don't know that there's another Kerry roaming around.

A guy that Kerry used to work with calls me "fake Kerry". Now that's funny.

By the way...I can't tell us apart on the phone if that makes you feel any better!

backwards

OK, so it occurred to me today that I might be a little strange - am I the only one in the world who reads magazines backwards? Everything I get the mail I read back cover to front cover...hummm. Not sure why. I'm pretty sure there's something psychologically wrong that's the root cause.

I think I need more sleep...

Rockin' my babies

Eli doesn't like to sleep anymore. What's the deal? Everyone loves sleep. I guess he hasn't figured that out yet. You'd think in his long 5 1/2 months of living in this world he would have figured that out. Next time you see him, do you mind cluing him in?

So, it's 10:30...and past experience tells me that he's going to be awake in an hour or so - so why didn't I go to bed at 8:00 when he did? Good question. Tonight I put him down still awake - he cried for about 2minutes then put himself to sleep. I know that's what I should be doing, but I sure do love snuggling with that little dude. He's so stinkin' cuddly...and I know that my time with him as a baby is going to go fast. And...he's my last one, so it's hard for me to give that time up - even though all the books (and common sense) tell me that if you want him to learn to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up during the night, you can't rock him to sleep every night. OK, so maybe just every other night??

I tried to hold Carlee in my lap last night and rock her like I did before we had Eli - couldn't do it - she was too big...and my heart sank a little. I still rocked her, and carried her to bed cradled in my arms - with her head and legs flopping all the way. Do what you gotta do to hold on as long as you can.

Reflective...or not

You'd think I would have a lot to write about. I'm spending a lot of time in a hotel room, by myself...it seems like I should be reflective - thinking about life and all. But, really, I've read two books, flipped through the channels on TV and slept a whole lot (when I'm not going to classes). Exciting stuff...I know. I've got 2 more nights left, so maybe I'll use them to be reflective...or maybe I'll go loose 20 bucks in a slot machine - we'll see. By the way - my nose has been stuffy since I got here - last night was the worst so I found myself paying $10.00 for a small bottle of nasal spray. $10.00!

We downloaded skype, so I got to see Chris, Carlee and Eli last night! Carlee thought it was pretty cool that she could see me on the comptuer. I thought it was pretty cool too! Technology is awesome.

Off to classes for the day.

Vegas

I'm in Vegas baby...and I have to admit - there's some pretty cool stuff to see here. I just wish Chris was sharing it with me. For those of you who are wondering...apparently he's doing great. He says it hasn't been too hard.

Carlee asked me last night if I was still on the airplane...then asked if I was ever going to come home. I told her I would bring her home a surprise, and her requested surprise is a white pony that flies - anyone have an idea about where I would get a white flying pony? I guess if I were going to find one anywhere, it would be Vegas! I've seen some interesting stuff!

And, while I've been gone Eli has learned to roll over from his back to his front then back over...I'm sad that I missed that. Chris said he would video him tonight.

Super Dad

Well, I'm off. I dropped Carlee and Eli off at the daycare, and I'm about to head to the airport. If you see Chris this week and he seems like he's in a daze...pat him on the back and tell him "good job". He's a super dad!

Way too long...

I really, really need to be in bed. What in the world am I still doing awake?? Reality has hit this weekend that I'm leaving my kiddos and Chris this week and I'm starting to get sad...and a little anxiety. I know they will be fine. I worry about myself and I worry about Chris. But the kids will be fine. I leave this Friday and get back the next Friday. My heart is beating fast just thinking about it.

I know this conference will be a great opportunity and I'll learn a lot - but come on....no need for it to be this long! I'm sure they could teach all they need to teach in three days.

So, this week I'm not going to worry about my house and my schedule so much. I'm going to love on my kids and spend as much time with them as I can. My house may be a big ole mess...but that ok.

I miss them already...