I'm a junkie
OK, so I'm an American Idol junkie. There aren't many shows that I like to watch every week, but I like me some American Idol. Tonight I'm watched it and Carlee was standing in front of my chair. At one point, she turned around to face me and in her very serious, grown-up voice she said "do you like her mom?" I said "yes, do you?" and she said "yeah, I do." and turned back around...something tells me she's been listening to me and my mom a little.
The Dr.
Tomorrow is my dr. appt...I'm excited about it! Funny that today was Kerry's yearly appt. and when she went in, the girl at the front said "now you're not the pregnant one are you"....hahahaha....does she not remember what I looked like the 900 times I've been in there! :) I really needed that - since Kerry looks SUPER!
The House
We've picked almost everything out for the house. I met with the interior decorator at Kolor Key the other day and picked out all the paint colors - I love them! Carlee and Eli's bathroom is called "dill pickle" sounds not that great, but it's a GREAT color. And, I love our bedroom color. Hard to describe, but it's going to be beautiful. Can't wait to see it. Carlee, of course, wanted a pink bedroom - so we picked a really great pink. Not too bright, not to light - it's perfect! She's going to love it. Tomorrow they're going to do the trim so paint will come soon. We've got hardwoods and tile picked out - the cabinet guy is working on cabinets and I've got all the tubs/toilets/plumbing fixtures picked out and ordered. Now I've just got electrical fixtures and the garage door to pick and we'll be fixed. I'm trying to get everything done before Eli gets here...because I have a feeling my priorieties are going to change a little! We think the house will be finished in about 6-7 weeks. EXCITING!!!!!
So, now I'm about to go make bananna pudding. It's a guy in my work group's birthday so we're celebrating tomorrow. My boss asked him what kind of cake he wanted and he said he didn't want cake, he wanted my bananna pudding.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Open mouth...insert foot
We've got about 3 weeks until our little guy gets here. I'm so excited to see what he looks like and what his personality is like. People continuously say to me that if your first one is good...watch out...your 2nd is going to be terrible. Not so sure why they have to share that type of info, but they do. Speaking of info that doesn't have to be shared...a girl at work told me I looked like a "weeble, wable" the other day - then a few days later when I saw her she said I was "large and in charge"....um, some things you should just think and not say.
I had jury duty today and on the way into the court house was stopped by a young hispanic woman who was trying, in broken English, to ask me where to go to pay a ticket. We ended up in the elevator together and she said "you are very big...2 babies?" No, just 1, was my reply. "Are you sure? You are very big" was her response. She went on to say how "heavy" the baby must be. I'm sure she went well, but come on.
Eli is very, very active right now. Wednesday we go to the Dr. and they'll try to see if he's still breech. If he can't tell when he does the cervical check, they'll do an ultrasound. Probably will do an ultrasound either way b/c they want to try to see how big he is. I'm guessing 8 lbs. 4 oz. we'll see!
My worries
Right now the thing I'm worried most about is being able to nurse. I tried with Carlee for almost 2 weeks but never got milk. I was extremely sad, and felt like a terrible mother - like I was just giving up. But soon decided that I was doing all I could...and Carlee would be just fine. I've had people tell me that probably the reason she has asthma and allergies is becuase I didn't nurse. Maybe, Maybe not. I've done a lot of research this time and found that there is a disorder of underdeveloped glandular tissue that can cause a low to non-existant milk supply. From what I read, women with this are often times more successful on a 2nd pregnancy, but can take up to 2 weeks or more for milk to come in. I really, really want to be successful this time. But, if I'm not, I don't want to feel like I did last time...who wants to anticipate feeling sad. So, I'm trying to work through it all ahead of time - I don't think it's working!
We've got about 3 weeks until our little guy gets here. I'm so excited to see what he looks like and what his personality is like. People continuously say to me that if your first one is good...watch out...your 2nd is going to be terrible. Not so sure why they have to share that type of info, but they do. Speaking of info that doesn't have to be shared...a girl at work told me I looked like a "weeble, wable" the other day - then a few days later when I saw her she said I was "large and in charge"....um, some things you should just think and not say.
I had jury duty today and on the way into the court house was stopped by a young hispanic woman who was trying, in broken English, to ask me where to go to pay a ticket. We ended up in the elevator together and she said "you are very big...2 babies?" No, just 1, was my reply. "Are you sure? You are very big" was her response. She went on to say how "heavy" the baby must be. I'm sure she went well, but come on.
Eli is very, very active right now. Wednesday we go to the Dr. and they'll try to see if he's still breech. If he can't tell when he does the cervical check, they'll do an ultrasound. Probably will do an ultrasound either way b/c they want to try to see how big he is. I'm guessing 8 lbs. 4 oz. we'll see!
My worries
Right now the thing I'm worried most about is being able to nurse. I tried with Carlee for almost 2 weeks but never got milk. I was extremely sad, and felt like a terrible mother - like I was just giving up. But soon decided that I was doing all I could...and Carlee would be just fine. I've had people tell me that probably the reason she has asthma and allergies is becuase I didn't nurse. Maybe, Maybe not. I've done a lot of research this time and found that there is a disorder of underdeveloped glandular tissue that can cause a low to non-existant milk supply. From what I read, women with this are often times more successful on a 2nd pregnancy, but can take up to 2 weeks or more for milk to come in. I really, really want to be successful this time. But, if I'm not, I don't want to feel like I did last time...who wants to anticipate feeling sad. So, I'm trying to work through it all ahead of time - I don't think it's working!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Back at it...
Well, it's been a long time. The thought of sitting in front of the computer when I get home from work just isn't that appealing to me these days. But, I've got so much excitement going on I'll tough it out tonight! :)
Eli and Me
I'm feeling pretty o.k. - considering I'm pretty sure he's about 3 feet tall right now! Or maybe not. I've been complaining about how big I'm certain he is - and he'll probably end up being tiny! He's very, very active. Much more than Carlee I think. Wakes up at 4 a.m. every day - so I roll over and put my belly up against Chris...if I'm going to be awake, so is he! Aren't I sweet? I can't wait to meet this little guy. I went tonight to bring dinner to my friends who have 2 week old twins and I got to hold both of them...so precious. They are amazing parents and love this little boy and girl like crazy! I love it!
Carlee
My sweet little Carlee just about caused her mommy to have a break down night before last! I was helping my mom do her taxes online, so I was a great mom and put Carlee in memaw's bedroom to watch Strawberry Shortcake. Chris was gone to meet with the builder, so he couldn't entertain her. She mentioned while I was getting her movie started that she wanted to paint her toenails...I told her we would paint them later - she requested pink and I agreed. So, about 5 minutes later she comes walking down the hallway saying "mommy, I need to wash my hands". I smelled the distinct smell of fingernail polish before I saw her...hands and feet were covered in red nail polish! Which meant that it was also probably all over my mom's bedroom...yep...on her comforter and in the carpet! So, we used acetone to get it out of the carpet but couldn't get it out of the comforter. I guess memaw will be getting new bedding from the Harris' when we move out! Carlee is so sweet that it's hard to get mad at her when stuff like that happens. She said "is it pretty mommy?"
And...the house!
We've got drywall!! They're going to start bricking Monday and I'm meeting with the floor guys tomorrow to get everything measured. I really like the hardwoods and tile that we picked out!
Eli and Me
I'm feeling pretty o.k. - considering I'm pretty sure he's about 3 feet tall right now! Or maybe not. I've been complaining about how big I'm certain he is - and he'll probably end up being tiny! He's very, very active. Much more than Carlee I think. Wakes up at 4 a.m. every day - so I roll over and put my belly up against Chris...if I'm going to be awake, so is he! Aren't I sweet? I can't wait to meet this little guy. I went tonight to bring dinner to my friends who have 2 week old twins and I got to hold both of them...so precious. They are amazing parents and love this little boy and girl like crazy! I love it!
Carlee
My sweet little Carlee just about caused her mommy to have a break down night before last! I was helping my mom do her taxes online, so I was a great mom and put Carlee in memaw's bedroom to watch Strawberry Shortcake. Chris was gone to meet with the builder, so he couldn't entertain her. She mentioned while I was getting her movie started that she wanted to paint her toenails...I told her we would paint them later - she requested pink and I agreed. So, about 5 minutes later she comes walking down the hallway saying "mommy, I need to wash my hands". I smelled the distinct smell of fingernail polish before I saw her...hands and feet were covered in red nail polish! Which meant that it was also probably all over my mom's bedroom...yep...on her comforter and in the carpet! So, we used acetone to get it out of the carpet but couldn't get it out of the comforter. I guess memaw will be getting new bedding from the Harris' when we move out! Carlee is so sweet that it's hard to get mad at her when stuff like that happens. She said "is it pretty mommy?"
And...the house!
We've got drywall!! They're going to start bricking Monday and I'm meeting with the floor guys tomorrow to get everything measured. I really like the hardwoods and tile that we picked out!
Friday, March 28, 2008
The same random thoughts
I'm taking another vacation day today. This time to get a few things ready for the consignment thing and to get some things organized...it's out of controll in this little house. If I go to my due date, then I've got 7 weeks left. Amazing how un-prepared I am. But, I don't feel stressed for some reason. I sent Carlee to daycare for part of the day. Mainly becuase when we're going through her baby clothes, she wants to try all of it on - even if it's 3-6 months. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get much done. I'm not consigning much - most of it I gave away to a couple of friends. But, I've got a few things left over so guess I might as well.
Visions of the house have been dancing through my head every single night this week. We met with the electrician and the cabinet guy on Monday and since then I've been super excited-thinking about floors, cabinets, counter tops, paint colors etc. etc. I usually sleep until about 2:30, then it's all over. From then on my brain is in high gear. Maybe I'll take a nap today too.
Yesterday they delivered the brick, so hopefully this weekend we'll get to see some of it up on the house. EXCITING! I may have already said this...but I'm for real going to kiss our builder on the lips if he'll get this house done before Carlee's birthday - I'd love to have her party there! So, we're shooting for July 1. I'm not sure how he'd feel about that (the kiss on the lips)...
Visions of the house have been dancing through my head every single night this week. We met with the electrician and the cabinet guy on Monday and since then I've been super excited-thinking about floors, cabinets, counter tops, paint colors etc. etc. I usually sleep until about 2:30, then it's all over. From then on my brain is in high gear. Maybe I'll take a nap today too.
Yesterday they delivered the brick, so hopefully this weekend we'll get to see some of it up on the house. EXCITING! I may have already said this...but I'm for real going to kiss our builder on the lips if he'll get this house done before Carlee's birthday - I'd love to have her party there! So, we're shooting for July 1. I'm not sure how he'd feel about that (the kiss on the lips)...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I'm back
I've been a bit of a slacker lately (at least at blogging). But, if I'm going to be a slacker at something...I guess this is the best thing to pick!
Our house is framed, wrapped in the paper stuff, and the roof has tar paper on it. So, next is putting the shingles on and the plumbing. It actually looks like a house now (I'll post pictures tomorrow). VERY EXCITING.
I'm going to the dr. every 2 weeks now. Last time was the glucose screening - and I didn't hear anything back from them, so that means all is ok. I go again on Wednesday. I think they'll do another ultrasound sometime to see if he's still breech - but probably closer to my due date. He's very, very active. All hours of the day and night. I'm sleeping about 3 hours a night right now, which I guess is good practice for when he gets here! I feel like I'm VERY unprepared for his arrival. I think I'll start getting ready. I'm so, so, so thankful for the huge amount of clothes and boy things that my wonderful friend gave me! (Thanks Becca!) What an amazing blessing.
I think I'm going to bed. Chris says I snore so loud now that he can't sleep with me. That's what happens when your belly sticks out over your toes...
Our house is framed, wrapped in the paper stuff, and the roof has tar paper on it. So, next is putting the shingles on and the plumbing. It actually looks like a house now (I'll post pictures tomorrow). VERY EXCITING.
I'm going to the dr. every 2 weeks now. Last time was the glucose screening - and I didn't hear anything back from them, so that means all is ok. I go again on Wednesday. I think they'll do another ultrasound sometime to see if he's still breech - but probably closer to my due date. He's very, very active. All hours of the day and night. I'm sleeping about 3 hours a night right now, which I guess is good practice for when he gets here! I feel like I'm VERY unprepared for his arrival. I think I'll start getting ready. I'm so, so, so thankful for the huge amount of clothes and boy things that my wonderful friend gave me! (Thanks Becca!) What an amazing blessing.
I think I'm going to bed. Chris says I snore so loud now that he can't sleep with me. That's what happens when your belly sticks out over your toes...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Six Years
Six years ago, on Sunday, March 3rd, my dad died in a truck, on the side of the Muskogee Turnpike. I think I probably talk about this too much. Maybe to the point of driving people crazy. I've got a lot to talk about today, so bear with me.
I was living in Russellville then. Working at Tech. I had a piece of junk car that always had problems... I'm so thankful for that car.
It happened that the week before the accident, my car would not go in reverse. So, I called and told my mom and dad (the condition of my car was one of the only things my dad knew to talk to me about). He wanted to come get it and take a look. So, on Monday he and my mom drove to Russellville to pick it up. I showed them around my dorm apartment, then drove to the parking lot where my car was stranded. The plan was for my mom to drive it home, and he would follow behind in his truck. So, he drove me back to my dorm, dropped me off, said "love you sis," and they drove home.
It turned out the car had serious problems, so on Wednesday, my friend Cindi drove me to Kerry's house in Charleston to meet dad and get mom's car to drive until it was fixed . It was the last time I ever saw or talked to him. I was so mad about that stupid car, but had it not been for the trouble, I wouldn't have seen him twice that week. Perspective.
Mom was planning to go to Tulsa that weekend to see my nephews. Since I had her car, dad decided to go with her. I took mom's car to Harrison to see Chris for the weekend. It snowed on Friday night and Saturday, but had warmed up on Sunday and the roads seemed ok. Chris and I went on a walk around his neighborhood that afternoon, and were about to go to his friends house to visit. When we came in the door from walking, I noticed that I had several missed calls from my sister, Melissa. I listened to the message and she was screaming for me to call her. I called back immediately and knew instantly that something was terribly wrong. She said that mom and dad had been in a bad accident. She thought mom was critical, but they wouldn't tell her anything about dad. She was on her way to the hospital in Muskogee. She was distraught.. yelling at me to come to the hospital in Muskogee but to be careful because the roads were bad. I screamed and fell to my knees in the living room of Chris' apartment.
The hours and days that followed are a blur.
Just hours before the accident, mom and dad left Tulsa - they stopped at Garden Ridge on the way out of town to pick up flowers for the cemetery in Waldron, then headed towards home. When they got just past the 2nd toll booth on the Muskogee Turnpike, a truck driving towards Tulsa hit a patch of ice and crossed the median, hitting their full-size Dodge pick-up head-on. Mom was reading a book, and remembers that he said "watch out" and threw his arm across her. Both dad and the man and woman in the truck that hit them died instantly.
After I got the call, I couldn't think of how to get to Muskogee from Harrison. Chris and I just drove. I prayed out loud, not knowing what was going on, but praying that God would save them. Just as we got to Dover, Kerry called so Chris pulled over at a gas station. She told me that they were all in Muskogee, and that mom was conscious and it looked like she was going to be ok. They had all been in to see her and she recognized them. She said they were moving her to Fort Smith. Relief. I could breathe again. "How's dad" was my next question... her answer changed my life forever. She said "he's gone" and I can remember saying "no he's not"...I screamed and yelled - almost out of control. Kerry told me later on that having to tell me over the phone, while all of them were together at the hospital, was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do. Though I don't remember a lot after that, I know I asked "what are we going to do?" over and over and over. I don't even know that I recognized that Chris was in the car with me - that drive from Dover to Fort Smith was the longest drive of my life.
When we got to the emergency room, there was already an elderly couple from my mom and dad's church waiting. No one from my family was there yet. Chris and I sat by ourselves waiting for the ambulance to get there with mom. Not long after, my grandma, Aunt Carolyn, Uncle Doyle and Aunt Dan got there. I hugged and hugged them. It felt good to have someone who was hurting with me there. Tricia came in not long after -- even more relief (at this point Chris and I had only been dating for two months, and he had met my parents only once).
Because of mom's condition, they had to wait for a paramedic (rather than an EMT) before they could transport her. We sat in the ER waiting room for about three hours before they arrived with her. While we waited, family and friends started showing up in droves. It was unbelievable. Melissa rode in the ambulance, and the moment they drove up I saw the brokenness in her face. I stood at the door and waited for them to bring her in. Had I not known it was her, I wouldn't have recognized her. She was bruised and swollen. They rushed her past me into surgery. The Dr. came out shortly after and advised that she would not have surgery. There were no internal injuries (though the news report said she had "internal trunk injuries.") She was hurt badly, but she was gong to be ok. I believe it was a miracle.
The doctor said that she wanted to see me and my aunt (she had seen the others in Muskogee), so we walked into the recovery room. I put my face up against hers and she said "I'm sorry about your daddy." We both cried.
We waited until Thursday to have his memorial service, so that she was well enough to go. Melissa, Tricia, Kerry and I had to go to the funeral home to make the arrangements (my mom's sister and two of my dad's brother's went with us). I'll never forget walking in that room with all of the caskets to pick the one they would put him in. It was terrible. The whole process is just terrible.
On the day of the funeral, they brought mom to the church in a non-emergency ambulance. She was in a lot of pain - more than I can imagine both emotionally and physically. Her bones were broken, and her heart was broken. She was bruised and battered in every sense of the words. Because she had to get back to the hospital, she wasn't able to go to the graveside service in Waldron. We did it without her -- which isn't something we were accustomed to. (If you know her, you know she's the boss of our family). :) It was all very surreal. and I felt like I was floating above myself the entire day. He would never have believed the number of people who came to his service to celebrate his life and support us. People are good.
Now, six years later, I'm still sad that this happened. I still miss him. I still wish he was here to play with Carlee and Eli. I still wish they could experience what a great grandad he was. That he could take them for horseback rides and drive them up and down the road on his tractor. That they could ride around on his back in the living room and he would buck them off like a bull. I wish I could see his big hands, that I could hear him say "awe bull," and "how's your car, sis?" At the same time, I'm so thankful our mom's life was spared. That she's here to love and support our kids. And, I'm thankful that this is not our home.
I was living in Russellville then. Working at Tech. I had a piece of junk car that always had problems... I'm so thankful for that car.
It happened that the week before the accident, my car would not go in reverse. So, I called and told my mom and dad (the condition of my car was one of the only things my dad knew to talk to me about). He wanted to come get it and take a look. So, on Monday he and my mom drove to Russellville to pick it up. I showed them around my dorm apartment, then drove to the parking lot where my car was stranded. The plan was for my mom to drive it home, and he would follow behind in his truck. So, he drove me back to my dorm, dropped me off, said "love you sis," and they drove home.
It turned out the car had serious problems, so on Wednesday, my friend Cindi drove me to Kerry's house in Charleston to meet dad and get mom's car to drive until it was fixed . It was the last time I ever saw or talked to him. I was so mad about that stupid car, but had it not been for the trouble, I wouldn't have seen him twice that week. Perspective.
Mom was planning to go to Tulsa that weekend to see my nephews. Since I had her car, dad decided to go with her. I took mom's car to Harrison to see Chris for the weekend. It snowed on Friday night and Saturday, but had warmed up on Sunday and the roads seemed ok. Chris and I went on a walk around his neighborhood that afternoon, and were about to go to his friends house to visit. When we came in the door from walking, I noticed that I had several missed calls from my sister, Melissa. I listened to the message and she was screaming for me to call her. I called back immediately and knew instantly that something was terribly wrong. She said that mom and dad had been in a bad accident. She thought mom was critical, but they wouldn't tell her anything about dad. She was on her way to the hospital in Muskogee. She was distraught.. yelling at me to come to the hospital in Muskogee but to be careful because the roads were bad. I screamed and fell to my knees in the living room of Chris' apartment.
The hours and days that followed are a blur.
Just hours before the accident, mom and dad left Tulsa - they stopped at Garden Ridge on the way out of town to pick up flowers for the cemetery in Waldron, then headed towards home. When they got just past the 2nd toll booth on the Muskogee Turnpike, a truck driving towards Tulsa hit a patch of ice and crossed the median, hitting their full-size Dodge pick-up head-on. Mom was reading a book, and remembers that he said "watch out" and threw his arm across her. Both dad and the man and woman in the truck that hit them died instantly.
After I got the call, I couldn't think of how to get to Muskogee from Harrison. Chris and I just drove. I prayed out loud, not knowing what was going on, but praying that God would save them. Just as we got to Dover, Kerry called so Chris pulled over at a gas station. She told me that they were all in Muskogee, and that mom was conscious and it looked like she was going to be ok. They had all been in to see her and she recognized them. She said they were moving her to Fort Smith. Relief. I could breathe again. "How's dad" was my next question... her answer changed my life forever. She said "he's gone" and I can remember saying "no he's not"...I screamed and yelled - almost out of control. Kerry told me later on that having to tell me over the phone, while all of them were together at the hospital, was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do. Though I don't remember a lot after that, I know I asked "what are we going to do?" over and over and over. I don't even know that I recognized that Chris was in the car with me - that drive from Dover to Fort Smith was the longest drive of my life.
When we got to the emergency room, there was already an elderly couple from my mom and dad's church waiting. No one from my family was there yet. Chris and I sat by ourselves waiting for the ambulance to get there with mom. Not long after, my grandma, Aunt Carolyn, Uncle Doyle and Aunt Dan got there. I hugged and hugged them. It felt good to have someone who was hurting with me there. Tricia came in not long after -- even more relief (at this point Chris and I had only been dating for two months, and he had met my parents only once).
Because of mom's condition, they had to wait for a paramedic (rather than an EMT) before they could transport her. We sat in the ER waiting room for about three hours before they arrived with her. While we waited, family and friends started showing up in droves. It was unbelievable. Melissa rode in the ambulance, and the moment they drove up I saw the brokenness in her face. I stood at the door and waited for them to bring her in. Had I not known it was her, I wouldn't have recognized her. She was bruised and swollen. They rushed her past me into surgery. The Dr. came out shortly after and advised that she would not have surgery. There were no internal injuries (though the news report said she had "internal trunk injuries.") She was hurt badly, but she was gong to be ok. I believe it was a miracle.
The doctor said that she wanted to see me and my aunt (she had seen the others in Muskogee), so we walked into the recovery room. I put my face up against hers and she said "I'm sorry about your daddy." We both cried.
We waited until Thursday to have his memorial service, so that she was well enough to go. Melissa, Tricia, Kerry and I had to go to the funeral home to make the arrangements (my mom's sister and two of my dad's brother's went with us). I'll never forget walking in that room with all of the caskets to pick the one they would put him in. It was terrible. The whole process is just terrible.
On the day of the funeral, they brought mom to the church in a non-emergency ambulance. She was in a lot of pain - more than I can imagine both emotionally and physically. Her bones were broken, and her heart was broken. She was bruised and battered in every sense of the words. Because she had to get back to the hospital, she wasn't able to go to the graveside service in Waldron. We did it without her -- which isn't something we were accustomed to. (If you know her, you know she's the boss of our family). :) It was all very surreal. and I felt like I was floating above myself the entire day. He would never have believed the number of people who came to his service to celebrate his life and support us. People are good.
Now, six years later, I'm still sad that this happened. I still miss him. I still wish he was here to play with Carlee and Eli. I still wish they could experience what a great grandad he was. That he could take them for horseback rides and drive them up and down the road on his tractor. That they could ride around on his back in the living room and he would buck them off like a bull. I wish I could see his big hands, that I could hear him say "awe bull," and "how's your car, sis?" At the same time, I'm so thankful our mom's life was spared. That she's here to love and support our kids. And, I'm thankful that this is not our home.
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