Sunday, December 28, 2008

Confession

I've got a confession to make. I'm selfish. It's something that I've known about myself for awhile. But something that I've not been willing to change because, well, if I'm not selfish, then I don't get what I want. Right?

Here's what usually happens...Let's say it's a holiday, or my birthday - you get the picture. I have an expectation of what I think "people" are going to do for me. So, I've got a scenario in my head of what's going to happen - and it's all of the things that I would want to do for other "people". Then, guess what? It doesn't happen. Something else might happen that's not as thoughtful or special (in my mind)...then I'm disappointed and I get sad. Let's face it...sometimes I even cry. What?

I realized at Christmas this year, when I found myself re-living the above scenario, that I'm tired of getting sad about silly stuff like that. I find myself wanting "people" to do things for me, say things to me etc. that show me that I'm important to them - so important that they really want to do or say something that will show me how much they care. When I got sad this weekend, here's what I kept hearing over and over in my head...You've got a loving, caring Savior who has shown you over and over and over. He's even given you the ultimate gift and he did it because He loves you.

That's powerful stuff. So, I'm working on it!

2 comments:

Becca said...

OK, I do the same thing. Not about gifts necessarily, but with expectations in general. I'm working on it too!

Julie said...

I definitely do that with expectations too. I'm working on it as well! The first step is acknowledgement, right? :)

Hugs and I'm sorry you felt sad. I don't like feeling that way (even if it is because of my high expectations). It still stinks to feel sad. Be happy!