Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Pediatrician Visit

Last night was a much better night - Eli made it 4 hours between bottles - and after his 6:00 bottle he went right back to sleep...and I joined him! We both slept another 2 hours and it felt great!

His dr. appt. went well. He gained 1 oz. so he's 8lbs. 1 oz. now. His umbilical cord hasn't fallen off yet and they were a little concerned about infection, so if it doesn't fall off and starts to "smell" by Friday, we've got to bring him back and they'll put some type of drying agent on it to get it to fall off...kind of yuck. He's also having problems with excess fluid in his left testicle - probably more info than I need to share...His dr. said it could turn into a hernia, so we're watching to make sure it gets better within the next couple of days. We definitely want to avoid hernia surgery.

Our pediatrician is wonderful. She was very affirming when it came to nursing vs. formula. Every time I talk about not being able to nurse, I get teary...and today was no exception. I didn't want to look like an emotional wreck, but it was a little hard to hold back. She assured me that with the advances in formula it is extremely close to breast milk and Eli is not "missing out" by not nursing. She said that she sees many children who were breast fed who still have allergies and asthma. In a perfect world, we would all be able to do it. But, it's not a perfect world.

Carlee is still doing great with Eli. She is very protective of him and loves to kiss him on the head. I just love watching her interact with him. It makes my heart feel happy. I try to paint a picture of it in my mind, because I have a feeling that in a year or so things might be a little different - when he starts getting into her stuff!

I love my babies...I am blessed.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Loud little dude...

We haven't seen Eli's eyes much since he was born. He's been a terrific sleeper during the day - and most nights. Waking up every 3 hours to eat and going back to sleep. We've had 3 nights of sleeplessness since we've been home...not too bad - especially since we've got memaw to bail us out after 2 in a row!

Today has been different. He woke up about every 2 hours last night - I tried to stretch out his feedings to as close to 3 hours as I could. After his 5:30 bottle, he slept for about an hour - and that's it for the day. Eyes wide open and screaming has been a way of life today...Carlee and I were hoping for a pretty day where we could play outside a little while he was napping - but instead we got rain, muddy ground and a little brother who can scream really, really loud! Finally, at 2:15 I got him to sleep in his swing. I know I'm not supposed to do that - creating "sleep props" isn't good. But, neither is walking around like a crazy woman from lack of sleep and screaming for now, the swing will have to do. Carlee has handled it like a champ. She's had a pretty boring day - and has gotten to watch more Cowgirl Dora than normal.

Tomorrow is his 2 week dr. appt. So, we'll get out of the house a little bit. Maybe a change of scenery will do us all some good.

Whew...this newborn stage is rough. But, I'm glad I get to do it!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

No more excuses

So, now that I don't have the "I can eat whatever I want becuase I'm pregnant" excuse...I'm on the journey to loose weight and get in shape. It's a tough journey for me, because I've struggled with it my entire life.

I can remember the first time I actually worried about my weight - I was in 3rd grade. The school nurse came around to our classrooms and took each one of us outside to weigh and measure us - I remember being so worried and being very aware that I was larger than other kids in my class. Now, as an adult, it makes me very sad for that little girl. That was just the beginning of a lifetime of worry. When I was in 9th grade, my oldest sister told Kerry and I that if we lost weight (I think 30 lbs. was the amount she wanted) that she would take us to Disney World. That was my first diet. And it was a crazy, unhealthy one. We both did loose the weight - and she did take us to Disney World. But, a year or so later, once we quit starving ourselves, it came back. Then, my sophomore year of college I started exercising like a maniac. I would work out 2 times a day at the least - ate nothing but baked potatoes and grilled chicken and I was the smallest I've been in my life. This lasted for a year or so, then I quit working out and started eating again - and guess what? It all came back. After graduation, I moved to Tulsa and started the "grapefruit" diet. I would eat eggs and bacon in the a.m., then salad at lunch and dinner, and have either grapefruit juice or a grapefruit with every meal. I also started running with my oldest sister. I lost a lot of weight - and ran in a 5K and even did a backpacking trip in British Columbia, Canada. I was in the best shape I had ever been in. This stayed off for a long time. I didn't stay on the "grapefruit" diet long, but kept exercising. Even when I went back to Tech to work, I kept up the exercise routine and started eating healthy meals. Then, Chris and I got married - and I stopped exercising and eating healthy...back I went. In the 5 years that we've been married, I've yo-yo'd back and forth, loosing 20 lbs here and there, and gaining 20 here and there.

Oh goodness, I'm so tired of this being on my mind so much. About 4 weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a question on my mind. It was as if someone was asking me what the one thing in my life that causes me the most pain and worry is - and my immediate thought was, my weight. That's the one thing that I obsess over and never seem to be able to get control of. It's what makes me self-conscious. It's what makes me sad. It holds me back. It keeps me from being the person that God created me to be.

It's kind of embarassing to talk about this in this forum...I'm usually very private about it. But, it's had control of me way too long and I know that I owe it to myself and to my children and husband to quit letting it make me sad, and just do something about it. I try to be so smart and sensible about how I handle everything in my life - this is one area where I make crazy decisions and try crazy things.

It's going to be a journey - but it'll be good for me - in lots of ways.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Eli Christopher

He's amazing...absolutley amazing. Eli was born at 5:04 p.m. May 13th. He weighed 8 lbs. and was 20" long. He's perfect.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

I love being a mom....

Carlee is running through the house naked, trying to hide from her daddy so she doesn't have to get in the bathtub...she plays that game every night. Only two more nights of it just being mommy, daddy and Carlee. I'm a little worried about her - I hope she gets through this transition ok. Kids do it every day, so I'm certain she'll be fine. I just don't want her to feel like we love her any less once her little brother gets here. I have no doubt that I can love them both with the same kind of love, but since she's a "big girl" and can take care of her self, I don't want to expect too much out of her, or ignore her needs because Eli is so little - but then, I want to give Eli all of the love and attention he needs. Wow...this is going to be interesting. I know it will work itself out. Just the unknown is a little crazy!

Our princesses
We've had Brett and Jenna here since Thursday and Carlee has had a GREAT time playing with Jenna. They wore their princess dresses today to see my grandma in Waldron. Carlee was Cinderella and Jenna Snow White. My grandma loved it - had to have her picture taken with them - I'll post them later (um...may be way later).

Thursday night, Jenna was having a breakdown - screaming and laying on the ground throwing a fit. My mom attempted to calm her, to no she picked her up to carry her into the bedroom - I guess Carlee thought Jenna was getting a spanking, so she was following behind mom crying "don't do it memaw, don't do it!" :) Carlee hasn't ever had a spanking (not that I wouldn't do it if it was necessary - it just hasn't been necessary yet) but she knows that it's part of Jenna's every-day I guess she was trying to save her!

Chris' supervisor will only let him have one day off work - then he has one personal day he can take - so we're hoping that if I go in Tuesday, we'll get to go home Wednesday. Otherwise, I'm not sure what we're going to do. My mom said she would drive me home from the hospital, if I don't get to go home until Thursday, but I really want Chris to be able to do that - and Chris isn't going to want to leave us at the hospital while he goes to work. It really stinks! Not much I can do about it though...

This is probably the last time I'll post for a little while. My friend Christina is e-mailing everyone the details! Can't wait to introduce Eli to you!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I'm sitting at Kerry and Jarrad's house, watching the workers work on my house! YAY! It's completely bricked and all of the trim is done. They're going to paint and install bathroom/kitchen cabinets next week AND deliver the tile and hardwoods on Thursday. I love it!

More importantly, if I don't have Eli by Tuesday, I'll go in at 7:00 Tuesday a.m. to be induced. I was at a "good three" on Wednesday and suspect that after all the contractions I've had between then and now, that I'm further along. I thought for sure it was going to be yesterday, but no deal...The guy I sit by at work said I was giving him anxiety. I haven't had any contractions so far today, so maybe he's going to hold out. Really, I'd love for it to happen tonight. We'll see. Carlee went with my mom to Branson yesterday, so Chris and I had a quiet night. We rented a movie and got in bed before was wonderful!

I think it hit both of us this morning that this is the last weekend that we're going to be a family of 3. And, now we're going to get to figure out how to raise a little boy. My prayer is that we can help to mold this little guy into a kind, loving, gentle, respectful man. How amazing that God is allowing us to be his parents. What a huge responsibility. I can't wait to see this precious boy. My heart is just overwhelmed with love for him and I haven't even met him yet. A perfect mother's day present.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

False Alarm

I thought last night was going to be the night. I started having contractions early afternoon - they lasted about a minute each and were about 15 min apart at first, then went to I made sure my bags were ready and sitting by the door, took a shower and dried my hair. After I laid down on my side for a while, they started to come less frequently - and during the night I only had a couple. False alarm. darn it...

I spent most of the morning in bed. Sleeping between HGTV shows, while the rest of the fam was at church. I feel so lazy - but I also can't make myself do anything. I'm just exhausted. But, only 8 more days of work at the most. I can do that. It makes my back hurt just thinking about sitting behind my computer every day for 8 hours - but I can do it...lot's of people do.

Yesterday we picked out/ordered our dining table. We're not doing a formal dining room - just a huge eat-in kitchen. So, this table is a 60" x 60" square w/8 chairs. We're having it built at Woodco. The finish is Expresso - a really, really dark brown. Chris doesn't get a sparkle in his eye about much - he's a little difficult to impress - but he got a sparkle in his eye when he saw it. I can't wait to see it!

I think I'll go finish up the laundry - just in case tonight is the night...wishful thinking. Kerry wants me to wait until they get back from their cruise - but I'm certain that great photos will do if he does decide to make his appearance early!

Friday, May 2, 2008

My Day
I took my very last vacation day today. I needed to take them all before I go on maternity leave, or I have to use them for my maternity leave...who wants that?? I started the day at a funeral. My aunt's mother-in-law passed away. She was 89 and had been suffering from Althemiers for several years. Her body was very healthy, but her mind wasn't. Although I felt sad for my cousin and aunt, it was the first funeral I've ever been to where I didn't cry. I think knowing that her life ended like I feel like lives should end - live a long, full life and go on to be with Jesus. It's when people don't get to live their "full" life (or my view of a full life) that I feel like it's a tragedy. God's ways are higher than mine.

Me and Eli
Yesterday I felt absolutley terrible. I had some contractions - but nothing regular. I still thought that I might not make it through the fact, I've got my bags by the door. But, I feel better today and I think he's going to hang on a little longer. I took about an hour nap today and it felt GREAT! I think if I could do that every day, things would feel a little better. But, that just doesn't fit into the schedule these days.

At my appt. Wed. I was at a 1 and my cervix was thin. He said nothing to call the family in about. He didn't think I would make it more than 2 weeks. And said that he wouldn't make me go more than 2 weeks. Eli is getting BIG we think. He was head down and ready to we'll see. So, if I don't have him before, it looks like we'll probably induce on the 15th. It's not been scheduled or anything, so that might change. I'm so ready to meet this little guy.